I'm in a rut. I'm not sure when I got stuck, but I'm definitely here. I feel as though I'm trudging through the motions with not true passion or purpose. I've hit burnout mode. I know what I need to do to make my role truly count, but I can't bring myself to do those things; not without force.
I know that I need to step up and be passionate about people. I know that I need to lead by example. I know that I need to be the woman of God that I was created and redeemed to be. God has brought me so far and yet here I am dragging my feet from one email to the next. I'm avoiding tasks and making excuses. I'm not sure how I got here, but I know I want out.
Over the next 24 hours I plan to fast and pray my way out of this funk. It's been a while since I've passionately pursued God with all of my heart. I know that He is right there waiting for me to latch on to him but I have been letting life get in the way. I want to do what HE has for me, not ask him to bless what I have for me. I hope that this time will be a time of renewal. I have a lot to think through and I want to hear God's voice in this.
In less than two weeks I'm headed to Ireland for a missions trip. I'm not sure what will happen when I'm there, but I know that I want God to use that trip to transform me into being people-focused rather than task focused. I want to see those around me through HIS eyes of compassion and love rather than through my eyes of to-do-lists and schedule-holders.
God I am asking you to meet with me. I want you and I need you.
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