Personally I've been dealing with some major pride issues. Struggling to not just lean on my own strength and what I feel I deserve or can do by myself. It's not about what I'm capable of but rather what God has equipped me to do. I'm beyond blessed with the ability to teach. I love my job and I have so much fun every day but sometimes I let my lack of care restrict my growth of relationships.
I'll be honest. I idolize my job. It's my identity and my purpose.i know I'm called to teach but I'm also called to serve Christ not serve myself. It shouldn't be this way. I realized this fact last Sunday when I told two of my dearest friends that I'll always come back to Philly (I've been traveling on my weekends) because I love my job so much. Hold up. My job? Really. Two amazing friends had to hear me say I prefer what gives me satisfaction in task over them. I didn't intend to mean it that way, and it was a definite smack in the face emotionally when I realized what I said and why I said it.
So how can I be more intentional about relationships? Not by myself that's for sure. I need God's help and that's exactly where He tends to push me. Right into places where I need him. I need His patience to listen when I don't care because he cares. I need his love to show compassion when I don't care. I need his grace to show forgiveness when I don't care. I don't mean to sound like a bitch but I kinda have been and at the root of me tend to be at times. And that is NOT ok.
When I was in Ireland I was so challenged by the people there. I grew so much in my willingness to show love to others and now I feel as though I've shrunk back some. Now that I'm aware of that I can pray, adjust, and move forward. Here's to loving people well regardless if i care or not because Jesus cares and I want to be less like me (cause I suck) and more like Him because he's amazing.
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