LENT

On Wednesday the Lent season began. Our church is doing 40 days of focused prayer and fasting in expectation that God is going to do amazing things in our church and in our city. 

I've given up a few different things for lent, the hardest one being television. I spend so much time watching tv and I want to spend more time reading my Bible. Fasting food just hasn't proven beneficial for me personally. But in spite of previous tries, I want to fast at least a day with no food with focused prayer. It would need to be a non-school day so I can be really focused on prayer instead of just busying myself to avoid hunger. 

I started going to counseling a few months ago. As I process my past and cut at some root lies, I'm finding how much I try to avoid feeling. Feeling anything. Each session is full of tears and stories of the damage that was done to my heart in the past. But I also feel like I'm making progress every time. I finally laughed saturday. Like truly laughed. Abs crunching, tears falling LAUGHED. It felt amazing. I need to remind myself that not all emotion is painful and that its ok to feel sad sometimes. My story had some sad chapters but God is good and the future is in HIS hands; not mine.