Obedience

Week 3 of the school year is underway and I'm loving it! My students are being super engaged and seem to be grasping concepts well. I've been able to slow down and explain much better than I did last year. We have our first real round of tests on Wednesday so we'll see how it goes. 

On top of teaching I've been trying to learn a lot myself. As badly as I want to begin the next chapter of my life, I still have some growing to do in this phase. Physically I'm doing well. I've been training for a half marathon that's about 6 weeks away. Emotional training is a different story. 

I want to just jump all in but I'm being held on the cusp on where that is. So, in the mean time, I've been feeling challenged to focus on what is right in front of me: my students. I want to start sitting down with them one by one and listening to their spiritual journey. Hopefully start one with them if it hasn't begun yet. I'm not sure how I will disciple and mentor 46 kids but God will provide. 

As for my dating life, well me sorting that out failed so I'm back to trusting God. Crazy how hard it is to slow down and trust Him. Why can I trust him with my eternity but not my marriage. Whew that's truly something I need to pray for discernment on. 

Gods voice

I've been training for a half marathon which means I've been spending a lot of time with God lately. I like to watch sermon video podcasts while I run on the treadmill at the gym. It's my extra "me" time with God. 

I recently heard Steven Furtick say something really profound. He said something along the lines of: most times God will give us the answer we need to hear rather than the answer to the question we are asking. The sermon was from 1st Corinthians. 

I've been praying a lot about a potential boyfriend that is in my life. I met him briefly a few times over the past year and had an immediate crush that grew with time. I mean he's handsome, tall, and extremely smart. As I've been spending time getting to know him I'm seeing just how incredible he is. 

So you're probably waiting for the "but" part. But he isn't into it like I am. I've been praying about it a lot. I mean this guy seriously has nearly everything I've been dreaming of in a husband. The only clear answer God has given me isn't really an answer at all, but I know it was clearly from God. He said: "Slow down and trust me." 

Now this gives me no guidance with whether or not the relationship with formulate into marriage, but it does give me 100% assurance that God is looking out for me and He is still the one I'm asking to lead my steps. I've also been sensing this theme of the butterfly in my life and that with this relationship I need to be still and trust the process. Besides, if the butterfly will eventually arise, then I should just get cozy with God and keep pursuing Him. 

I love my Abba. My True Father with every fiber of my being and if/when this friend becomes more than a friend, then God will be best honored through our lives through our faith and devotion to Christ. Why bother worrying about it before then? Sure my desire is to be married. To come beneath my husband who is a man of God and support him in the mission God has called him to. But I'll never regret waiting on God. NEVER.